Faith

And so I listened. I listened as he choked back tears, as he ranted and raved about the pressures of his family and failing to live up to their expectations. I had never seen him so hopeless before. So..defeated. Part of me wanted to reach through the phone and comfort him. He started working since he was 14 to help support his family. Now 19, the stress is catching up with him and affecting his health. Work, School, Family...he had almost reached a breaking point. Families can be so hard to deal with at times. But I remind him that at the end of the day they remain his family who just want the best for him and to remain patient.

I make him laugh and can feel his heart lightening up a bit. He thanks me for the millionth time for just listening.

I hang up wondering if he realized yet that we still share a bond. That night I made dua for him. Regardless of our sour history. I made dua that Allah eases his hardships and give him happiness where ever life takes him.

I just got back home from a week of frosh week, which is basically a week-long orientation for first years except all years get to join in the fun. Clubs Day, Parade, Concerts, Engineers walking around painted purple, Bands getting on trucks and waking up the entire of downtown campus at 2 in the morning. Just pure madnessssssss is all over. First day back to uni tomorrow. I have a feeling 2nd year will be much better than the 1st!

Gahhhhh. Wish me luck! :P

Which brings me to the purpose of this entry. I'm 19, the next one is 20 then 21,22 and finally 23. the 23 year old just recently got married. So we barely see much of her. With marriage comes responsibilites and she just doesn't get the chance to hang out with us like always. Which is totally understandable! don't get me wrong. Then we have the 22 year old who is getting serious and looking into proposals. An exciting time for all of us as we wonder which one she'll pick except the proposal she is leaning more towards would take her miles and miles away from us. Then comes the 21 year old who is done school, works a good job and is just chillin'...except now that the 2 oldest are married or almost married she's interested too! which leaves me and the 20 year old.

Both of us not merely interested in the idea of marriage. But whenever we get together, marriage talk is inevitable. First of all, there's the absence of our oldest friend and then the other two are chattering away in excitement about prospects...and while we enjoy chattering about it too (as all girls!), deep down inside its just saddening. One by one they'll get married, move away, start their own lives and I'll be on my own. Especially me being the youngest. Slowly we will no longer be able to relate to each other. While I'm stressing about exams, they'll be stressing about husbands. They always joke that I'll have the biggest wedding party of all since I'll probably be last. All along I'm thinking "yeah you guys will be attending my wedding with your own kids by then..."

I think this is why I've become so attached to my guy friends lately. Men get married later, they'll be around for me much longer. I guess I'm just having trouble letting go and accepting that this is one change I'll have to face soon. And at the same time enjoying single-hood as much as possible with or without my friends.

P.S-> for those wondering, I did accept my ex's mother on facebook. So far so good! no trouble as of yet =)